Week 43- FEBRUARY- Chicken Heads

We've all had those days, those days when you feel like a chicken with it's head cut off. We'll Ive had one of those weeks. But let's take it to another level now, and go from a running headless chicken physically to a running headless chicken...spiritually? Yeah, it's been tough.
It's funny how Satan never hesitates to put his foot out to make me trip and stubble and fall after i JUST felt i got back up and was ready to run a marathon, OK half marathon, OK a 10K, OK so maybe i don't like running, but point is...Satan is punk. But Satan doesn't know who he is messing with. He's messing with one of the Lord's messengers, he's messing with a pair of the Lord's shoes (thanks Weston), and let me tell ya, these shoes are going to leave Satan in the dust.
What are some of these sneak attacks Satan uses you may ask? Well for me it was something as small as a choice of mood and attitude. Seemingly so small, but let me tell you this little stumble took me a good two or so days to recover from! So if your companion is trying to get you to recite the first vision, or asking you to explain what the Book of Mormon is before the clock has even struck 6:30am, when you're feeling you only took a short and nap and that your week has just one big loooooong day, and before your eyes have even fully uncrusted, don't do what i did and just glare through the crust, but count your blessings that you have a companion who is not a bipolar morning grump like you are. If you are reading your emails and find that your little brother just had his 10th going on 11th baptism in his fourth month of the mission, don't pout and clean off your dusty empty shelf with your own tears, but count your blessings that you found and made a goldmine of friends in a reenok (ourdoor market) and placed 4 Books of Mormon!

And instead of whining while carrying around your bucket of Russian throw up (sorry about the disturbing imagery here) count your blessings that that bucket has opened up a door to an inactive member of the branch who has offered every morning to helping your clean that bucket out. Let me tell you, attitude will save you some BIG tumble and fall episodes. Take it from the girl who was known as the girl to biff head first into the grass while playing tag, known as the the girl to trip both up and down the stairs with, ironically, always an armful of loose papers, and the girl who is on slip and bif count #6. It's. Not. Fun.
Happy Valentines Day! I love holidays because it not only helps me pick out my outfit (hmmm...i should wear something red...but i only have one red shirt....hmmm decisions decisions...) but it also helps me pick out my personal study  topic...LOVE! aka CHARITY! Did you know out of faith, hope, and charity, that CHARITY NEVER FAILETH?! As the apostle Paul says, "And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity." Now i don't know about you but those are some strong words and needless to say charity is THE attribute to have. The new "cool" thing so to say. Charity is the new black. Do you get my point? So next time you want to bump charity to the bottom your "TO DO" list you just remember Paul and I. Wow, did i just put myself up with an apostle?
I also took great council from this scripture in Moroni 7:45, "And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Im telling ya! If you ever feel you are lack'n a little som'n som'n, charity is where you will find it.
You do crazy things when you're in love, well in the case of a missionary i guess it's better to say that you do crazy things when you are in....charity? Crazy things such as running like made through mushy muddy forests and dark streets with arms full of roses and homeade borsh and brownies. You know the phrase, "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach?" I would like to correct that phrase and say, "The way to ANYONES heart is through their stomach."

Sister Anderson sharing the LOOOOVE

A romantic walk home through the park??

This week we had a little Ukrainian cooking fest with our Land Lady! We pay her the rent and she pays us in  teaching us the ways of making homemade vereniki (little dumplings filled with really whatever you want, in this case a savory ricotta like cheese, topped with sour cream) and borsh!

Well it's taken me two months time but i feel i have finally grown a love for Brovary. Hey, don't judge me, if you served in an area like Illichyovsk you would have had the same problem too. Had a great moment this week while trying pick up Sister Anderson's post vika after getting her registered when we showed up at the Ukrainian registration off which was nothing more than a mob of stale ciggarete breath and musky fur (gosh i love it) and then a man asking us what we were doing and then yelling out into the mob, "Hey! This girl is American and doesn't know what she is doing!" Aaaaand thank you for narrating my life. The people here that i have been blessed to  know and befriend are just amazing. And let's not forget the outdoor street markets! A cabbage and body bag full of sweet "corn puff fingers" (Ukrainians version of popcorn)? Yes please!

Thirsty? We got milk!

Once your stomach is filled join the Maidan riot just down the street!

Oh and thank you all for the birthday wishes, i must give you all credit for originality and for all the times Taylor Swift's popular hit, "I'm feeling 22" was quoted.
It's tough weeks like these that you ask yourself, "what is it that keeps me pushing on?" One of my sisters actually asked me this once and i came across a scripture that captured it perfectly for me. "And we have suffered all manner of afflictions, and all this, that perhaps we might be the means of saving some soul; and we supposed that our joy would be full if perhaps we could be the means of saving some."-Alma 26:30 I think sometimes we don't give hope enough credit. I think sometimes we see hope as a weak form of faith, but it's so much more than that! Hope is the anchor to our souls! President James E. Faust's words, not mine. So if you find yourself thinking, "well i don't feel i have much faith, but i do have hope" give yourself some credit! Hope is a Christlike attribute! Study it in Preach My Gospel and you will know you are more on your way to becoming like Christ than you know.
Though you may sometimes if not often feel that the Lord is not near or feel like the Lord is holding out on you, for instance you think you can hear him saying, "Nuh uh uh uhh, that wasn't good enough, try harder and THEN you will get my blessing." than stop it. Stop doing what i did. Just keep doing what you can, and the blessings will come. We're in this together, remember? I just want to quote a little from this weeks letter from our mission president's wife Sister Klebingat, "...the Lord is aware of each of your situatins, of eachof your family members' situations and of all the complexity of your circumstances. He is aware of your emotional state, He knows your gifts, talents, fears, and insecurities...He knows what experiences you need in order to overcome all things and to learn as much as you can in this life to max out your potential....Knowing that the Lord is aware of each of you and loves you individuall, one by one, should tell you that you recieve customized experiences (positive and negative) that have the potential to produce needed growth in you. In all sense, all these experiences, whether positive or negative, can be regarded as blessings....the blessings will come in His time, according to His will and His perfect knowledge of your needs and abilities, and of course according to the matchless love He has for you...the best course of action is to learn to submit your will to Him and allow Him to mold you into the best version of yourself."
Let's be our best selves this week!

XOXOXOXO
-Сестра Ро

Week 42- FEBRUARY- IT'S A GIRL!

Only in Ukraine would you be approached by a drunk babushka on your way walking to the church and then find yourself running away as she threatens to shoot her dentures at you....

WOW. What a great long week! Nothing like a good classic, tear jerking, climatic, piano violin duet to cheer me on as i imagine myself passionately running to the top of THE MISSION HUMP, reaching the top, doing a fist pump, failing at the heel click (as always) and saying, "I DID IT! I REACHED THE HUMP!" Yes! This sister has officially reached THE HUMP of the mission. 9 MONTHS! (View inappropriate picture at bottom. I had a serious debate about this one, and i dont think we need to guess as to who won the fight.) Where did the time go? I would like to say that it is all downhill from here, but where is the fun in that? I have a feeling the Lord has a lot more in store for me, and wouldn't be surprised if i end up coming home as just one big ol' stretch mark from all the growing i will have done.

This week has just been chuck full of big days! What a week! Easily the longest week, but i can not come to say the worst! Not only did i reach the big "YOU'RE HALF WAY THERE!" mark but i also had my last day as a threesome companionship and, lack of a better word, we celebrated the occasion by going out with a bang! A bang to our wallets that is. After too many times of walking past and slipping on the puddles of frozen drool, that must have only been from all the pedestrians who would look in on the fine dining of LIMON, we decided enough of the dreaming, let's make it reality. By far the comfiest chairs known to man, the smallest portions on the biggest plates i have ever seen, and the most delicious vereniki (potato dumplings) and cheesecake i have ever had. I was dining in class, though my frumpy boots, DI skirt and greasy surf wave swooped bangs would say otherwise.

Verinki. Ukrainian cuisine in style.

What is this? A salad for ants?!

New York Cheesecake....you guys gotta try this.

I got half way through this bad boy when i finally stopped thinking....."this taste is oddly familiar....."when it suddenly clicked. LIVER.

Can you figure out what this says? P=R, E=E, C=S, T=T, O=O, A=A, H=N. Congratulations. You can read Russian.

The Tri-cycle.

I'm not gonna lie, as hard as it was i was really going to miss Wallace and Winsor, and was feeling pretty scared for what the future had it store for me. Training?! Me?! I thought that was just a joke we would make in my MTC district! Well ready or not i was about to start a whole new threesome. Me, the Lord, and Sister Anderson!

I love our trips into Kiev and the sights to be seen!

Sister Anderson is an amazing 19 year old sister from New Zealand! Did i mention that she lived 45 minutes away from the Hobbit homes from Lord of the Rings? How do you like that mom? She loves to dance, always has a smile on her face, she loves animals just as much as i do, OK, maybe not THAT much, also has brother who is out serving the Lord in the Philippines, and has helped me so much already in our short time together to come closer to the Lord and feel the power of the Holy Ghost, and that by exact obedience, and with faith you can truly feel and recognize the power of the Holy Ghost when your heart is fully dedicated to the Lord's work. She has been such a blessing as both of us have set the transfer goal of truly being SPIRIT LED! To come to know and feel how each of us feel the Holy Ghost in our lives, become sensitive to it's promptings and therefore become followers and teachers of the spirit. I never would have thought that a 2nd transfer missionary could teach me so much and be right beside me doing the Lord's work. This girl has no fear and has been a complete answer to my prayers! 

Our first night together we went out to find some of the in actives of our branch and with nothing but an address and complete lack of a map we.....got lost. Figures. Not only that but i must have forgotten my brain as i couldn't remember the word for, "building". That night i found that you really can find your answers in the Book of Mormon as we found ourselves huddled in a dark street hovering a flashlight over a Russian Book of Mormon looking for 1 Nephi 8:27 for the word, "building" so that we could ask for directions and afterwards worrying that i was going around asking for the "great and spacious 9." 1st day. 1st adventure. Check.

Traditional 1st night Kontik slam!

Another BIG day happened this week...I hit my, "I DONT KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT IM FEELING 22..." mark! That's right 22 years old and i dont feel, or look at day over 15! Well that's what the guys would always say whenever they started hitting on my little sister only to find I (emphasis on I ) was the babe that could legally (by Mormon standards) date. Nice try boys. 

Sister Wallace and Winsor gave me an unexpectedly bright and early surprise by....cooking me breakfast? *Sniff sniff* is that bacon i smell? Why yes it is! Im telling you, if you are ever feeling homesick for America, bacon is where it is at folks. Oh glorious greasy sodium! The W&W companionship have got to be one of the biggest hearted sisters i have ever met, and i usually try to reserve the big "L" word, but... I LOVE THEM.

Ok so i feel i should explain the state of my appearance right now. Had i know that i was going to get a face full of party poppers, hash browns, bacon and jam filled blinchiki while walking out of the bathroom at 6:32 a.m. i would not have been sporting the David Bowie T-shirt...OK, so maybe that isn't true. Please pardon for the cowlick upon cowlick, crusty eyes, and partial mullet. Just trying to be like David.

Hey if middle schoolers can do the "Looking up" selfy in a bathroom than i can do it with my breakfast

I feel i should explain the broken key in the palm of my hand. As Sister Anderson was locking the door after W&W left and i was gobbling the grub i just hear a big gasp and "Uhhhh.....sister?" Long story short, she's too strong for her own good and for a good half day or so we were under house arrest.

Besides the bacon i must say that the best present you can receive are the things that you can't eat. Remember this moment because you will probably never hear that from me again. To be honest i forgot a lot of the time that it was my birthday but i got a lot of LOVE and that's good enough for me. Thanks for the birthday card family!! The wait was worth it <3

Alex, one of our recent converts, bought me a coffee flavored cake! Ok, so he still has a little learning to do, but it's the thought that counts, right?

Hey, you didn't think that  mine and Sister Anderson's adventures ended there did you?  You didn't really expect that i wouldn't get us lost in a forest on my first week of training, did you? Oh ye of little faith, of course i got us lost in a forest looking for inactive! Hey, no effort is wasted, right?

The last bit of civilization we would see for a good hour or so...

Behold! Look! Through the brushes! Civilization!

And so a lot of  rose thorn scrapes and tree branch bruises later we finally made our way back to Brovary. Here's a little look see of some of my day to day Brovary views...

The Atomic statue where i once stargazed

A classic death trap elevator

I have been so blessed with such amazing exemplar family and friends, I so much in life to thank the Lord for. This week has just been filled with blessing after blessing after blessing. Of course these blessings did not come until after the trail of my faith, and thanks to Sister Anderson i can feel my faith and dependence on the Lord grow every day. (Just thought you should know that that dramatic piano violin duet just started again. Talk about dramatic!) I'm gonna quote my brother from his email here and say, "the size of your faith, or the degree of your knowledge is not the issue, it is the integrity you demonstrate toward the faith you DO have and the trust you already know." "Be not afraid, only believe." Mark 5:36

By exact obedience and really trying your best in all things the Lord truly does bless. From finding amazing potential investigators while English contacting, to making a friend while spending those last "pointless" 15 minutes contacting in the dark and dreary fog, to bearing an emotional testimony of the Book of Mormon to a non member husband with an amazing family with strong testimonies of the gospel, to even getting stopped in the middle of the street being asked, "Hey, what's that book you have?" and once more finding yourself saying not only what you have always been taught is true, but truly coming to feel is true. Our lives are so blessed. We just need to do all we can because as the Lord said, "I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise." D&C 82:10

I have never had such a strong testimony that, "in Christ there should come every good thing." There is nothing good in this life that is not a blessing from our loving Heavenly Father. These things should not be expected, nor taken for granted. Swallow some of that pride and give the one who lovingly placed you here some credit! We are so loved and we have been provided with every possible thing we will need to succeed in life. Because of  a lack of time i can't touch too much on this but PLEASE read the talk, "LIVING A LIFE OF PEACE, JOY, AND PURPOSE" by Richard G. Scott from this months February issue of the New Ensign. It was a good chunk of my personal study this morning and it really hit home for me that this mission is such a privilege and is preparing me for life!

My first day with Sister Anderson she asked me, "what are you wanting to accomplish during your mission?" And all i could think of is this fear of returning home after my mission and not reaching my full potential, not becoming the daughter that Heavenly Father intended me to be. Come on! That's a scary thought! But i am going to take to heart what Richard G. Scott said when he said, "May the Lord strengthen your resolve your exercise of faith, and your growing character so that you may be the instrument of good He wants you to be." Half way mark and I'm felling like im becoming a new girl! I guess you can call it a "new birth" in a way...

And to think if i were pregnant going into MTC i would be hitting my due date right now....
Happy Birthday, new companion, and 9 months to me!

Have a great week!

XOXOXOXO

-Сестра Ро

Week 41- JANURARY- If You Want The Fruits Of The Gospel You Must Have Your Roots In The Gospel

HAPPY MOUNTAIN

How do you like that title, eh? When i used to make fun of my mother for listening to her books, that are deeper than the big blue sea, on tape when she got ready in the morning, here i am grunting and sweating and shaking and heavy breathing to do my 2nd pushup while listening to gospel talks. Ok mom, i gotta hand it to ya, they're pretty great.

A fast and cold week this week! One of the members of the branch came over to our house this week with nothing but her rock solid baby holding arms and a rolling pin. Seriously whoever made the WE CAN DO IT posters have obviously nevers seen a Ukrainian woman with a rolling pin before, or he would have made a different choice. In Ukraine a rolling pin is all you need to slam and bang your windows shut against the cold. I thought i feared my mother when she brought out the wooden spoon, but after seeing what those windows got....i would never make a Ukrainian woman mad in the middle of her pastry rolling if you know what i mean.So now that our windows are nice and disiplined our apartment is....well, a bit warmer, and where i lack i make up by keeping myself warmed up on the inside by the means of laughter. Every day when walking to the church we pass by, what i have now called HAPPY MOUNTAIN because i have yet to walk past and not have a huge grin on my face as i was people zoom down and crash into animate and inanimate objects.

When i don't have such a such a way of amusement however i am not so happy. As a lover of the heat i am a hater of the cold. So if you're ever in Ukraine and see a big, frumpy, frizzy, frosted, sweaty, muttering to the cold wind sister missionary with a nametag....yup, that's probably me. Every day is a day of a face half frozen with frosted hair, eyelashes, and yes even nose hairs, and half a face nuzzled in a scarf that has accumulated a weeks worth of different breath scents growing the best sweat beard this world has ever seen. The other day i sweat i was smelling the egg pickle pizza i ate a week ago with the pelmini i hate for lunch yesterday. Yeah, i might have to go on a breath mint diet for the next week or so...

I do have to give the cold some credit though because i can finally check off "Hold one of my own frozen tears" off my bucket list. The cold is also great for making up great awkward conversations! While running into our neighbor the other day we engaged in friendly conversation and i thought he asked me if i like ice cream. Well anybody who know's anything about me knows i like ice cream and i dont' want to leave him in the dark so i just take the subject and run, "Oh yeah! I could eat it everyday! My favorite flavors are.....". Only later do i find out that he had not asked me if i liked, "мороженое" (ice cream) but had actually asked me if i was, "мороженый" (frozen). Whoops, and i thought that confused look was just because he didn't know what hot fudge was...

This week we warmed ourselves up with some blinchiki making at our Branch Presidents house! And let me tell you his mother really know's what she's doing...

Sophia, she just got a tooth pulled and she is carressing a big bowl of sweet cheese and raisin filling...oh the irony.

Flipping blinchiki

The....smoulder? Oh you ain't getting nutt'n from me

The look that his mothers chest gets way too often

чай и блинчики = Tea and blinchiki

I got Dear Janed this week...i must tell you i was very shocked myself. Everytime i go into the bathroom i can always count on him being there for me. That is....until the day i found....his note.

*gasp!*

"Wha....?"

*sniff sniff* "Mr. Paook?"

"MR. PAOOOOOOK!!! Nooooo!"

<3 Mr. Paook

Yes, Mr. Paook has moved on. He may have left a cold empty corner in the bathroom, but he will always have a place for me in my heart.

We may not have any investigators in Brovary at the moment but we have some amazing potential! Every friday we have a game night where anybody and everybody is welcome to come and suck M&M's up with a straw, blow a pingpong around on a table or play the "Killer Wink" game that is really just as simple as it sounds. 1 Killing Winker. 12 victims.You get winked at. You're as good as dead. Right now we are really working on Uri, the man in the far right corner, who speaks English better than i do and who we caught doing donuts with his car in the parking lot with his son. I thought to myself, "the church can use a man like that."

I think Elder Fisher (the Elder in the white shirt of course) forgot the concept of "blow"

This week our entire stake participated in a fast for Maidan. We pray that all will come to as close to a peacefull end as possible. Unlike most we as missionaries didn't get to break our fast with a hot Sunday supper and i found myself stuffing down the some sort of cracker covered in cheese powder, that could only be considered edible after a 24 hour fast, outside of the door of a lesson. Oh the life of a missionary...

My Maidan collection

Satan really likes to work hard on your when you are on the brinks of taken a big leap forward to becoming more like Christ. I know this is true because i can feel it! I never thought i would find myself feeling spiritually starved for spiritual teaching and spiritual experiences on the mission. But i actually reached a point where i felt disconnected from my spiritual roots (eh! the title? eh? eh?). I have never felt so close to breaking free and yet never felt so weighed down with all of Satan's schemes and techniques. He will get in your head and make you feel every down, inadequate, depressed thoughts of yourself possible. I myself have been feeling this way for a while and finally it just clicked, "Wait a minute! I should not feel this way. The Lord would never want me to feel this way. This is Satan! That punk!" It is so true that, "Thus Satan thinketh to overpower your testimony in this generation, that the work may not come forth in this generation." He just ever so slightly knudged into my mind and I found my mind so filled up with "stuff" and "TO DO" lists, with every single bit of my mind filled with something or other that when i came to have a moment to listen or simply just enjoy the peace and quite of the Spirit, i had completely numbed myself. I then found the scripture from Mosiah 4 :27, "And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order." I didn't realize then that this scripture was not only relating to physically but also spiritually! A mind so cluttered with thoughts of "DO DO DO DO" can completely remove the Spirit from your life. How can the Spirit dwell in such a cluttered mind? How can the Spirit dwell in a place that never sits still? When the Lord want's our minds and spirits to be at peace this is exactly the type of thing that Satan does to keep you from reaching that goal. So with the help of two companions and an emotional companionship inventory i have been challenged to read The Character of Christ by Elder Bednar and to replace every down on yourself self centered thought with a positive outward thought of others.

It's always in the down times that the Lord's tender mercies are the most appreciated. It was cold, i was not happy (need i explain myself again?), and we were out contacting others who also did not enjoy being in the cold. Satan managed to get his food into this little wedge of opportunity and started filling my mind with the thoughts of, "nobody want's this", "your efforts are pointless", "you just dont have what it takes to reach out as a messenger of the Lord." Let me tell you these thoughts are not fun, and i was in the middle of this losing battle when i got a phone call from a random number i had never seen before,so i put on my big girl Russian missionary voice and say......"ello?" to hear a. "Sister Roe?! Ahhhhhhh! It's Katya!" Now i don't know if you remember my mentioning of Katya but she one of my best friends i have made of my mission. The sweetest, most golden and amazing kind hearted 15 year old i have ever been blessed to meet. So when i heard her voice i can't even deny that there were a few frozen tears shed. She had just called to say hello,  and despite that she misses me that she also knows that i am there for a reason. Oh, and let's not forget that she has now STARTED TO READ THE BOOK OF MORMON!!! Seeds planted? I think YES! Have faith in the Lord! Everything will happen in His time if we just wait in faith.

Now seeing that next transfer is starting next week im sure you are wondering....what is with YOU next transfer Sister Roe? Well......I'm staying in Brovary, im getting a new companion, her name is Sister Anderson, she is going into her 2nd transfer, and she is from.....New Zealand! I didn't know if i should cry out of fear that i was now offically TRAINING the only sister missionary that came in last transfer and the only one for the next 6 months until more missonaries arrive, or cry because i will be blessed with the music of a New Zealand accent for the next 6 weeks. A little bit of both i guess. I will miss Sister Wallace and Winsor despite it being the hardest transfer of my mission so far. Whoever sang, "One is the lonliest number that you ever knew" obviously had never been in a threesome companionship before. 

Nastya, one of our young women, joined us for a weekend of missioanary splits! And i promise Sister Winsor (pink undertop) was not electricuted in this picture, though ironically she was infact electricuted pulled her hairdryer out of the socket just the other day.

Real quick before i go, last night we were trying to get a taxi home and after having no success after 20 minutes of being passed time and time again as other taxi's went to rescue other poor frozen souls we had finally given up and started the trudge home. Suddenly a big red van came to a screeching halt and backed up and rolled down it's windows and all i could see were man heads. In the .562 seconds i had to think i did the equation: Big red van + Screaching halt + Reverese + Rolled down windows + Man heads = RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. So we did, in a very calm Christ like manner of course. We didn't get too far when the driver comes out and yells, "What? You didn't recognize me?!" It was one of our inactive young men! What a blessing he was to pick us up, despite having two of his "im too cool to speak to you" friends in the van, and give us a ride home. The Lord is looking our for us! Im tell'n ya!

Interesting Ukrainian Tradition: On the anniversary of the death of a close family member or friend you go around and give out candy, but here's the catch. They have to be given and eaten in even numbers.

Amazing Tip: For those of  you who recieve disgusting candy, for instance chocolate covered poppy seed cement paste balls, put them into the bottom of your purse and save them for times of famine. Pop one of those suckers into your mouth and your will go from the brinks of death to cloud nine.

XOXOXOXO
-Сестра Ро