HONEYMOON: THE FIRST STAGE OF CULTURE SHOCK

"Time to get up! It's 9:45!" My first thought was to throw the blanket over my head before my grandma had the chance to start poking me in the head, but then the fog began to clear and i came to realize that the voice was not of my grandmother, but in fact... of my newly inherited phone! A talking alarm clock, who would have thunk!

I can probably count on one hand how many times i was actually excited about getting out of bed, actually make that one finger, and that one finger is now, because today i was going to ride my first metro train! The metro station is but a blistering fifteen minute walk away, which is awesome because the metro is going to be my main man to seeing the city! The system is a bit intimidating at the moment just give me a little time and ill know it like the back of my hand...hopefully....finger's crossed...ummm pray for me.

 

I used all my newly learned Russian to order my metro tokens. I walked right up to the counter, looked strait at the clerks forehead (because Russians believe that when you make eye contact that you are looking strait into their soul), and raised up two fingers. Two fingers = two tokens. Brilliant! 

Riding on the metro i had to use all my self control to not laugh and smile with all my excitement, so i channeled all that energy into the best solemn, downward gazed face possible. And it is just creepy how quite it is! Now Ive never been on the metro in America, but i can bet a pretty penny that it is nothing like this! When there is talk, it's in a soft undertone, but other than that, lips are sealed and eyes are either glazed forward, shut, or have a sudden interest in the floor.

There is fur left and right! I snuck a picture under my arm, in what I thought was smooth and stealthy manner, off three classic babushkas. When we were all piling out of the door i stole my chance as we were crowded together to actually reach out and feel one of their coats, so wrong on so many levels, but oh so satisfying.

With each stop i noticed that each station kinda has a theme, like one had a ton of iron gates, another had chandeliers that looks like suns, and the stop i got off of today had golden fish scale walls. Everybody here has a destination, and they want to get there quick, so they don't stall in their walking, so i sped walked right along with 'em, with maybe a little gallop here and there to make up for the difference. I emerged out of the metro and my eyes immediately landed on the Kazan Cathedral, my jaw instantly dropped, and as i started to gargle my drool i just thought, "Now THIS is why I'm in Russia."

It was GORGEOUS! My first cathedral and it most certainly did not disappoint! You would definitely be able to pick me out of the crowd as the wide eyed, drooling, red cheeks from the cold, American girl with the blue scarf wrapped around her head. And you can bet your bottom dollar that i was once again sneaking pictures, but this time i chose more of a technique that i would like to call, "just point in some random direction and click and just pray that you got a good pic." This was the one and only survivor of that mission.

When i wasn't being a tourist, i was just an admirer, watching catholics doing the sign of the cross and praying, while listening to the monks singing/chanting in the back of the cathedral. OK, can i just say i am one lucky duck?

We made a lunch stop at this hip little food joint that specializes in a Russian food called blini, which is pretty much just a crepe with ooey gooey goodness inside. I once more snuck some pictures of this handsome little man who was making our orders (wow, today has just been my day for being a sneaky little creep).

Pouring...

Spreading...(with a nifty little wooden tool)

....and flipping! tada!

I decided to go crazy and ordered two blinis, watch out this girl is going out of control! One was a yummy ham and cheese, and the other was an even yummier chicken with cream sauce. Winner winner chicken dinner! (ok, so it wasn't as filling as a chicken dinner, but i got the chicken part right) I'm not sure if you've noticed but I'm a total die hard comfort food fan, if it's gooey and/or has cheese in it, i will eat it. Well.......if it's YUMMY cheesy gooeyness.

While eating two Russian girls came up to us who spoke very good English and we chitted and chatted and giggled and tee hee'd and exchanged numbers! Look at that, only my third day in Russia and I'm already mingling with the locals.

At the end of the day i just remember thinking that i was so proud of myself for making it here, that i chose to do this for myself because i know how much i will learn and grow from this whole experience. It is just amazing being here, and I'm loving every second of it! Every day i experience something new, something that i never thought i would get to do, or see, or taste. Yup, I'm happy. A very good day.

4 A.M. AND THE X-RAY BLANKET

Ever wonder what it feels like to fall asleep with one of those x-ray blankets that you wear when you're at the dentist? Well i haven't really thought about it before to tell you the truth, but that didn't stop me from finding out what it feels like! The blankets that we've been given are so dense that the idea of it actually forming to your body is laughable! It more or less just lays across your body, it's almost as if your dentist were tucking you in (once again, never a thought that has crossed my mind believe it or not). The pillow, well the pillow is even better, imagine a beach. The sun is shining, the waves are lapping delicately at the sand, now imagine your hands running through that warm, soft sand, now imagine taking fist fulls of that sand and shoving it into a sandbag. THAT is my pillow.
So it's four in the morning, and I'm as awake as can be. How is that possible? Just a little bit ago i could have gone into a mini hibernation no problem!
 Sleep is inevitable, so here i am...finishing off some cold pizza, with the balcony door open (which i NEVER thought i would ever be doing in St. Petersburg, but the government controls the heating here, so it's completely up to them if they wanted to freeze us to death or make us sweat like pigs), strapped in my bed with my x-ray blanket, blogging. So help me body, if you don't adjust to this new time schedule...ohhh ho ho there will be consequences. 

VODKA AND SAUSAGE. RUSSIA'S VERY OWN FOOD GROUP

Did i say that my little grocery adventure was supposed to revive my spirits? Because i believe i reached a new level of exhaustion that i have never felt before. Not only was i boggled at all the different types of food, but i couldn't even translate to labels to help me figure out what this strange solidified meat substance is! Upon entering into the sausage isle which was just full to the brim of just about any form of sausage you can think of, as well as what looked liked sausage, but i don't think had an ounce of meat actually in it, I'm not sure if i wanted to just laugh or cry.

 I found what looked to be a tube of fat with floating bits of meat and vegetables inside it. I made a mental note to never use a recipe that called for the "tube of mystery." Just in case the alcohol store down the street didn't satisfy your drunken taste buds, 1/3 of the store is reserved just for you and all  your alcoholic needs. I just discovered that what we call tomato sauce, they call spicy ketchup. (i got a bottle, so fingers crossed!) Located between the frozen balls of what looks like meat and large bins of Russian candy they have whole dried fish as well as a glorious pile of fish heads (thank goodness, i would hate to have my fish without eyes!), which i hear make a fantastic fish stock as well as room aroma.

And if the fish heads put a damper in your air then freshen it up with some.....(drum roll)....scented toilet paper! That's right folks! We got daisy, raspberry, ocean waves, tangy orange, strawberries n' cream, or my personal favorite green apple! I think it's safe to say the fruity scents have won in this competition.

I gave a little squeal and skip when i saw my first cow tongue! At least i think it was cow....or a whale...either way, it was HUGE! Observe:

Here you are! Vodka filled chocolates! Yup, we are DEFINITELY in Russia.

We're given 4000 rubles a month for our grocery's, and my immediate thought was, "let's feast!" Wrong my friend! 4000 rubles equals out to about $120 dollars. 30 rubles = $1, are with me? So it definitely took some adjusting to not grasp my heart, shrivel up and die (okay, maybe a bit of an exaggeration) when i would see the number 87 next to a bag of pelmeni (Russian version of tortellini). I had my very first horrific language barrier experience when i was purchasing my groceries (oh! and we actually have to pay for our own grocery bags, that kinda tickled my fancy) and the clerk just started rambling off in Russian pointing at me and the money that i had just given him, so i just did what any other confused and helpless American girl would do and just shoved more money in his face. Turns out he just wanted to know if i had five more rubles so he didn't have to give me a bunch of change. whoops!

So this is the result of my first Russian grocery shopping extravaganza! It's funny how you swarm to the food familiar to you, hence the pizza, pigs in a blanket, eggs (which still had a little dirt on them and i believe one still had a feather stuck to it), oatmeal and bananas (chocolate syrup costs an arm and a leg so i guess ill just have to learn to eat bananas the healthy way). I didn't have an once of energy left in my body so i just slurped some strange fruity jelly substance through a straw sitting in our 10 x 9 kitchen apartment until i was given permission to pass out.

SPAETZLE. BLESS YOU.

Nothing like eating some spaetzle as your flying above the forest lands of Germany. Gosh, do you know how long Ive been wanting to say that? Well, to be honest not too long, but it's pretty awesome that i can even say that! The plane's wings were sprayed with what looked to be green tinted, steaming hot water so that the planes wings don't freeze (comforting thought). I filled out registration papers (the airline dude gave me a pile when he saw that i was going through them as if they were scented kleenexes ) as i ate my hot airline breakfast which consisted of, you guessed it, spaetzle.

 I sat there looking out the window while writing down notes and things to remember on the edges of a Russian newspaper. My body would shut down for short amounts of time, until my excitement would shock me right back awake. My first sight of the city was amazing, this place is HUGE! Buildings as far as the eye can see. And i couldn't help but get my gassy nerves and think to myself, "This is it!"

 We met our head teacher as well as all the hosting families when we got through all the mumbo jumbo of registration where we were given a very welcoming, though with not as many smiles, Russian, "zdrazveetyet" (i dare you to try to pronounce that correctly). Turns out I'm not with a hosting family as originally planned, but I'll actually be living in an apartment with three of my fellow teachers! My own apartment in St. Petersburg, Russia? Yes, please!

As i took my first step outside i took in a big breath wanting to fully embrace my new home, but was instead greeted with a small body seizer and a fit of coughs as my lungs seized up as it took in that refreshing -5 degree Russian air (the idea of it all looked a lot better in my head, i promise).
 My apartment is located on the eighth floor and not but a five minute walk across two lanes of deadly traffic, from the old elementary school where i will be teaching. I have a 24 hour grocery store on my left and a store dedicated completely to alcohol on my right. I have already seen my fair share of sled/strollers, very large, stern, hairy men wearing ushanka hats, as well as wrinkly, waddling lumps of fur which are called babushkas, or old as i like to call them furry grandmas.
By this time i am beyond the point of exhaustion, but i am told that i mustn't sleep until 9 so that my body can adjust to the time difference, and what better to wake you up than with an adventure to the 24 hour Russian grocery store!

DOLPHIN DOCUMENTARIES ARE TEAR JERKERS

You know something is out of whack when you get a lump in your throat multiple times when watching a documentary of a dolphin, so I'm just going to blame it on a lack of sleep. I have a curse that i can not fall asleep when a move is playing, i learned to not even try after an hour of switching between closing my eyes and peeking at the screen. So during that last hour of flight my body was definitely doing all in it's power to shut down, but i didn't want to miss the sights, so i prevailed and it payed off, because I'm pretty sure i saw the lights of London. No big deal. The first thing i noticed when we landed in Frankfurt was how eerily quite it was, no loud voices and smiles were sparse. My group had only a small amount time to get to our next flight, so we booked it, but we weren't in so much of a rush that we couldnt make a fast stop to take a picture at the wall of German wooden coo coo clocks.

We boarded a train to take us on the other side of the airport, my backpack was super heavy so when the train started i was thrown off balance but regained myself. Whew! That would have been embarrassing. The train was soon coming to a stop when some McDonald napkins fell out of my back pocket, i was leaning over to pick them up, when the train came to stop and...yup, you guessed it. I totally fell over backwards! I laid there for a second, looking, as I imagine, like an exceedingly large cockroach turned upside down and scrambling for the life that seemed to be slipping away.I got so many looks of concern as well as disapproval as i walked out of the train laughing so hard that i was wiping my tears with the very napkins that led me to my doom. Leave it to me to be the first one to fall on my butt in a foreign country.

After an adventure to the bathroom where we couldn't find out how to flush the toilets, or figure out the contraption to dry our hands, we then nibbled on some German chocolate ( yes, the real deal. It's just as good as they say it is! Whoever "they" may be.) as we waited for the last flight that would finish off the stretch to St. Petersburg!

My first German sunrise

WELL, HERE IT GOES...

Being 38,000 feet in the air is about as good of a time as any to start a blog. Never would I have thought that I would be in a two story plane, smelling the delightful scent of that infamous air line food, on my way to St. Petersburg, Russia! Thaaat’s right! I'm moving to Russia! Well, for four months that is, but still pretty cool huh?

 I am now a member of the ILP (International Language Program) and will be a teaching English at a Russian elementary school by day, and American tourist by night. The only Russian I know is, “yes,” “no,” and “will you kiss me?” Hopefully one of those I will never have to say. My plan is for me and this blog to become the best of pals over the next four months as I embark on all these new adventures!

Just getting to where I am now was an adventure of itself.  I had my alarm set for 5am giving me a good amount of time to get the last of my things together and get all prepped and ready to go. But my grandma had a different idea as she loudly shoved open the door (the door gets jammed so you really have to put some elbow grease into it) saying in a not so soft whisper of a voice, “Time to get up! It’s a quarter to five!” Now I know what you're thinking, it’s only fifteen minutes early, but when you love sleep as much as I do, I was not happy to have lost those fifteen blissful minutes. I tried to fall back asleep but when she kept on coming back in asking me if I was going to curl my hair, if I wanted to try this new guava juice she found at the store, if I was ready to eat the breakfast that she had actually prepared the morning before, if I had gone pee yet, and then waddled over to me and then proceeded to poke my head, I knew it was all in vain. However I did give her a hug and kiss goodbye as she handed me a bag of soggy dried fruit and two foggy bagged granola bars.

There is one thing that I have learned during the check-in process at the airport: it would make things much easier and save a lot of trouble if you just came naked. Because can I just say that trying to balance on one foot, trying to zip up your boot, pushing your tubs down the line, with one arm in the sleeve of your coat, while trying not to reveal the butt crevasse, and clasping onto your passport, visa, and boarding passes like it was your life (well, it pretty much is), is not easy?! By the time I was done running around frantically, asking question after question, tripping over my luggage, striping for the security who I think has lost the ability to smile, I was in a right sweat!


First stop: Chicago. No relaxation here! After rushing to the bathroom to release my bursting bladder, we made the long trek to our next gate, got our boarding passes, and then found out my carry-on was too large to fit on the plane after trying to elbow and push It into the test slot until the airline lady told me that it wasn't going to fit. We then scarfed down our last meal in America, and you can't get much more American than with good ol' McDonald's! I used my last bit of time to then make calls to all of the fam and friends, and at the same time proving the fact that it is not difficult for me to have three chins when I hold the phone up against my shoulder.

So here I am! Somewhere over the Atlantic ocean with 2611 miles to go until I land in Frankfurt, Germany! I found this awesome station that plays the most relaxing music that i could imagine myself doing yoga to(I am so much like my mother), and just passed out using my jacket as a pillow and awoke with button marks on my face, and came to find that I missed my airline meal! Blast! Now I know its not a five star meal, and it didn’t look too grand either, but I have to admit as a lover of food, I was a little bummed to have missed that experience. It’s OK though, I here they are going to serve breakfast soon. What do Germans eat for breakfast? Hmmm….