AWKWARD AND AWESOME THURSDAY!

AWKWARD:

VS

• Yes, what you see here is hash browns. Do not ask me how, i never studied the molecular structure of potatoes, and even Google did not have an explanation for green potatoes. After three failed attempts of getting the same result we were stumped....curiouser and curiouser. I'm pretty sure Van Gogh would be the only one to see beauty in such a thing, if he were to paint them i think it would be much like the first picture, much more appetizing...well, to the eyes at least.
• walking outside and getting an instant blast of wind in my face, causing a steady gush of tears which then froze the eye lashes at the corners of my eyes shut. you know that face you make when you push your eyes towards the center of your face? yup. me.
• one frozen body part not enough for ya? how about breathing in and having the sensation of feeling boogers in your nose when just the other moment you thought it was spick and span. So you try to casually feel around without drawing too much attention, when the light finally turned on and you then realize it was not boogers, but in fact...frozen nose hairs.
• do you know the saying that water can be the kiss of life or the kiss of death? or am i just making that up? well either way, that truly is the case here! you can gulp down that water and rehydrate that body till content, but if that water was not boiled and/or filtered it will be the end of you. so as I'm putting the cup to my lips i hear that voice inside my head making me question if the water is safe or not, so i boil in again, juuuust in case.
• reaching down and taking what one of my students was giving me during singing time, rolling it in my fingers, and coming to a dead stop....something wasn't right. I looked down to see a crumbled up dead spider in my hands. I gave a loud yelp and began frantically wiping my hands down the front of my pants. All the kids thought this was part of the song so followed my example and did the same, oh if only someone could have walked in at that moment. How many encounters will i have in this life time that results in me rolling something dead between my fingers?!
• Not knowing the Russian hymns, so I begin to sing them in English and keep getting weird looks from the whole congregation. We might as well have been singing Koombaya.
•   Sometimes my coat decides to turn into a cocoon, holding in all the heat and moisture throughout the day. At the end of the day, after many an hour of steaming (hey, miracles like this take time you know) i emerge from that cocoon to spread my glorious wafting wings of body odor
• every once and a while you will get a crippled begger on the metro. as soon as the doors close they hold up a sign and yell out their story, then proceed to drag/slide themselves up and down the isle. I dont have any money on me, so i put my head down, problem is....that's where their eye level is.
• You know how you sometimes walk and see all those pieces of gum stuck to the ground? Well here in Russia they don't have gum embellished walkways, they have globs of frozen spit
• I was walking home behind a man when suddenly he stopped, put a finger on one nostril and blew a total snot rocket! I couldn't help but stop as well, whether it was out of shock or to stay out of the danger zone i can not tell you, maybe both. It was then that i came to the realization....oh my gosh all these frozen markings on the ground are not all spit as i had thought, but in fact, the majority of them are the remains of snot rocket missiles!
• Ummm....polio in St. Petersburg. enough said.
• The other day i went to exchange my money all by myself! With full confidence i walked up to the counter and with my crisp bills and set them down on the metal tray and then tried to push them through the slot, key word "try." The bills wouldn't go through! I looked up at the lady with a look of panicked confusion and then composed myself thinking that the bills just needed to go in at more of an upward angle....nope. I then tried my third and last option as the lady just stared at me through the glass, and just tried shoving those bills through that slot, any way possible, with all my might! The lady couldn't stand to watch my pathetic attempts any longer and got somebody who could speak English, turns out i just had to let go of the money and let the tray slide inside. I just started cracking up laughing half out of embarrassment, and half out of relief that the ordeal was finally over as the lady counted my now not so crisp bills, oh what a terrible representation of an American i have made myself out to be.

AWESOME:

• Feeding the birds at Pigeon Square. I still can not walk past and not start singing the song from Mary Poppins in my head
• none of the doors at my apartment or in my school match, every door is different! Some are wooden with cool detailing and old door knobs, some are covered in leather and brass buttons, and some look like safes. In the past when you would move, you took everything, and i mean EVERYTHING, including the door! pretty cool, huh?
• i finally learned how to properly flush a toilet! now give me some credit here, i can push a button, but the toilets here have two buttons, count 'em two! i never knew which one to press, so i would just cover my eyes, spin three times and push at random, but it turns out i was doing it all wrong! turns out the toilets here have a pee flush, AND a poop flush!
• Tubed, bagged, boxed, and wrapped ice cream. AWESOME. fact.
• the food is so light here! i now know a different meaning to the term "stuffed." it just feels different, but i have grown to love it! I'm actually craving dill soup for lunch and those mysterious lumps of meat. carrot beet mash? yes please! there is also very little sugar in food, so when i want sugar i usually go hard core. i think I've had more candy bars here than i have in my whole life time! You can always count on me having a king size Kit Kat bar in my bag at all times
• the snow falls here are breath taking! it look a lot like glitter, so you can imagine how magical it would be to take a night stroll down a quaint glowing street in St. Petersburg watching the snow catch the light in the most beautiful way as it falls. yeah, i did that.
• i never knew you could make so many different varieties of soup with just a basic broth of water and dill
• i love 10 ruble soup packets! these things have become my go to meal! dump out the packet, boil some water, pour, throw in some bread cubes, and whala! you have a tasty and satisfying meal in 2 minutes flat!
• one Sunday we decided to invite over the missionaries to make them an American meal. food of choice: chicken Alfredo with brownies and ice cream. the dessert was a hit, you should have seen how their eyes practically popped out of their heads, but the alfredo....well, i bet they never could say they had alfredo soup before, but now they can!
• i have made a goal: always have 100 rubles on me for beggars on the metro, and keep spare change in my pockets for easy access for the musicians on the street. Though it's not much, it's better than nothing, and sure as heck better than keeping my head down resulting in the worlds most awkward eye contact
• i have discovered my new favorite chocolate bar! it's made only here in St. Petersburg and oooooooh boy oh boy it is truly scrumptious! you could put me in a room full of dogs licking themselves (this is one of my top pet peeves) with one those chocolate bars and i will still be one happy girl
• what is more awesome than finding beer kegs in an IKEA cafeteria? nope. i got nothing.
• it has now become second nature to take my shoes off at the door! do you know how awesome that is? at the beginning i found it so bothersome but now i can do it without thinking! yay for repetition!
• i found a vanilla extract sugar packet at the store. i love the smell of vanilla extract. i stand in the store for 5 minutes just smelling the packet. i buy the packet. i keep the packet by my bed to smell at random. sometimes i get whiffs as I'm trying to sleep. this makes me happy.
• we made smores using the broiler of our oven, and yes...it was awesome.
• i got a miniature lesson from Egor the other day on how to spell my name in Russian, oh how the tables have turned! wasn't i supposed to be the teacher? yet here he was, giving me pats on the back and giving exclaims of approval such as, "very good!", "much better Ms. Allison", and "you sound Russian!" when i could finally roll my R's. Gosh i love that little punk.