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Thursday, March 8

AWKWARD AND AWESOME THURSDAY!

AWKWARD:
  • Looking at the pictures up on the wall at my school and coming across one in particular that i thought would fit in perfectly with AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com, then taking a closer look and......oh whoops, that's one of my students
  • just sitting down to eat breakfast and then told that it's fast Sunday...my head falls to my chest as i give a large sigh, the naughty side of me wishing that i could just forget what i just heard. never has oatmeal looked so good then at that moment as i was pushing it away
  • walking past one of the many lingerie shops and seeing a nicely toned male manikin advertising, "24 hours open" on his lower pelvic area. whitey tidies and bad grammar....now THAT is a turn on
  • playing a game at the crosswalks of red light green light, seeing if the drivers will yield or not, because the whole "yield to pedestrians" yeah, doesn't exist here. The drivers have two speeds here: at a dead stop, or "if you get in my way you will die" fast.
  • Working away on the computer with a bag of caramels in front of me, reaching into the bag for juuuust one more, only to feel....nothing. it was at that moment i looked down to see a gigantic pile of empty wrappers just staring at me from the desktop. It was an awkward moment for both me and the pile.
  • walking along the side walk and getting a nice steamy sewer facial.
  • looking down at your lunch wondering if it really came from the kitchen, or if something had crawled up from the deep dark depths of a cow and died on my plate.
  • the Russian manikins here have uhhh.....very pronounced chest markings
  • walking to the school and seeing a bunch of fire trucks outside, and because of my childhood where a whole day would be dedicated to touring a firehouse, i just assumed that this was for educational purposes. when trying to prance my way into the school however a man yelled at me in Russian looking at me like i was stupid, and said, "fire." ohhhhh......you mean....ohhh he he he, you mean there was an actual fire? well shucks, my bad. i guess my stuffy nose didn't really help me out here when i couldn't smell the smoke
  • that moment when you cheer when it's19 degrees outside
  • Hilariously inappropriate mispronunciation moments of throwing a cube/die with the kids and hearing,"i want to die!" or my personal favorite, "i want the pube!" (had to debate whether this should go in the awesome category
  • losing my key to the apartment and being trapped outside in the cold waiting for someone to open the door, then trying not to look like a creeper as i follow that person inside
  • when I'm doing the train with the kids and i catch myself going "chugga chugga chugga chugga toot toot" like Major Pane
  • the glorious sensation of feeling something snap on your body, immediately going into conservative mode trying to cover up any part of your body that may be revealed due to that snap (buttons, zippers, etc.) only then to look down and see the remains of a broken purse. Awww man, what a disappointing relief.
  • I watched a man walk to the side of the side walk and prepare to fire, except this missile didn't quite leave the cannon. He ended up with a two feet long strand, swaying in the wind. (psst! mom, this is your cue to say that line from that movie that i hate but have grown to love so much)
  • running to the bathroom fumbling with your pants as your body is about to let loose a mini hurricane, bending down and falling strait into the toilet because the previous person was so kind enough to leave the seat up, needless to say i glared at every male i saw for the rest of the day
AWESOME:
  • Browsing the candy isle and seeing a chocolate bar, but not just any chocolate bar, a a chocolate bar for MEN. we all looked at it for a bit, pondering, when i suddenly exclaimed, "oh i get it! it has nuts!"
  • skyping with my family is...you guessed, awesome
  • chocolate=awesome. and who says math is difficult?
  • "sometimes all you need for happiness, is a little chocolate." i can always count on dove candy wrappers for words of wisdom, and yes, i did spend fifteen minutes trying to translate it
  • i now know why ice cream comes in a tube, not because it's just awesome, but because it makes amazing ice cream sandwiches! chocolate cookie ice cream sandwiches, to be exact. just slice into that sucker and, mmmm.....
  • the random pictures on the metro signs as I'm riding up and down the escalators are priceless: flowers, chopped carrots, parrots, a kitten, bananas, kittens, a monkey, mixed berries, old paper, rock pebbles...whoever pics these pictures out is a genius
  • the crinkling sound the tin foil makes when i eat my chocolate bar
  • children here have scheduled chess classes! for half an hour a day they are taught all the do's and dont's of playing chess! needless to say, i find this quite awesome
  • awesome that four of my awesomes are about chocolate...wait, make that five
  • I've been taking full advantage of that fact that it is legal to pirate music in Russia!
  • today i saw grass! yeah, that green stuff that grows from the ground? i saw it! it was slimy, and mushy, not the most pleasant shade of green, but grass none the less

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