PIGS AT SWAN LAKE

You know it's been too long when you find yourself thinking So this is what it feels like to be a girl, and can i tell ya oh boy did it feel good! After a long day of teaching English through the story telling/reenacting of The Three Little Pigs slipping into a skirt, three layers of shirts, two scarves, and a pair of boots is just what a girl needs to feel pampered sometimes. What's the occasion you say? Well this girl inherited a free ticket to see the authentic Russian [we are in Russia after all!] ballet perform Swan Lake! Please wait a moment as i mimic a girl from a Justin Bieber concert.....
I left that apartment strutting my gain 15 lbs instantly and forget all hopes of a waistline coat like i was on top of the world. In my mind the ice just melted wherever my feet landed........apparently the ice had something else in mind for me that day.
Twirling my umbrella i walked along with a little extra swing to my hips when i came to a puddle and i was like hey puddle you look particularly large today, lucky for you I'm feeling particularly hot today so instead of waddling around like a sissy like i do any other day I'm going to hop over you like the confident sophisticated woman i am. By no means was in in any way or form sophisticated as my feet met that ice bringing me down in one fell swoop and thud, leaving me there with legs sprawled (did i mention i chose not to wear tights that day?) umbrella flipped inside out, sitting in a muddy slush puddle. I don't know how but the laws of nature must have been feeling pretty sympathetic that day as i was able to walk away from the incident with only a little mud on my boots cradeling the shattered remains of any pride i had left. Touche puddle. Touche.
 I only got lost once having to pull out my scribbled directions along with cardboard pig snouts, string, markers, pieces of candy, and plastic tokens out of what has now earned the title "The Child Molester Bag." I swear i had every form of temptation for a child in that thing, good to have in class, not so much in public society. Me and Kylee bore through that wind, rain, and slushy snow like champs and took our seats with frizzy hair, red cheeks, wet feet, and half melted make-up like royalty.
Our seats were amazing and though not neccessary my 100 ruble rented bionoculars were on my face as the curtain lifted and before i could even think i loudly exclaiming holy crap! look at his thighs! as the prince lept out onto the stage. It was everything a Russian ballet should be, watching all their elegant prancing and leaps across the stage in tune with the live orchestra below simply magic. I don't even think i know what the back of my chair felt like i was perched on the edge of my seat so much. I had such an appreciation hearing the whole crowd applaude and shout BRAVO! at the end as the Russians don't have many events that encourage such outwardly expression.
That night i gained a whole new appreciation for McDonalds as i was walking home. I found myself in a very desperate situation when lo and behold i saw a bright light ahead, one of the most beautiful sights i had ever seen. Never in my life had a brightly glowing "M" given me such excitment and relief. I ran towards that light, walked strait in, not even glancing at the menu and headed strait for what i came for.....free bathrooms.